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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...

How Beautiful

 I've been in a very poetic mood lately. I found this poem that I wrote in January, that has remained one of my favorites for some unknown reason, and decided to post it. So, without further ado...

How Beautiful
 
Oh, how beautiful
The stars tonight
My lovely
Shining so bright
My lovely
How beautiful

Oh, how beautiful
This child's eyes
Brimming with hope
My lovely
How beautiful

Oh, how beautiful
Butterfly's wings
Shimmering with grace
My lovely
How beautiful

Oh, how beautiful
This music of joy
Ministering to the weak
My lovely

Oh, how beautiful
This marvelous light
My lovely
Illuminating hearts
My lovely

Oh, how beautiful
This love of mine
My lovely
Cleansing you
My lovely
How beautiful you are

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