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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
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A Strange Creature, Indeed

Originally posted on my HSB blog, July 28, 2008 at 4:52 PM
Hi everyone,

I "helped" my cat Tux post an entry on the blog that he shares with my other cat, Chessie. I thought that this was one of the most creative entries I've done from the perspective of my pet, so I wanted to share with you.


Well, it's Tux. For once, I've been doing something other than sleeping & eating.


We have a new human in the house. Her name is *Muffin*, and she's 7 months old. My owners watch over her while her parents work.


*Muffin* can sometimes get annoying, especially when she chases after me! Chessie, for once, is reassuring me. She says that it is normal, and that I should be patient with "the little thing". Where did Chessie learn that, anyway? Maybe it's true... but I can't handle the thought of her getting her slobber on me. At least she can't pull my tail!

Anyway, *Muffin* has been chasing me a lot lately! It seems like every day she comes, she gets faster. My owners call it "crawling". I guess I'm helping them, because every time she sees me, she tries to scoot over to me. All my owners do is just watch in anticipation, and then cheer when *Muffin* reaches me. I don't know why they don't help me get away from "that little thing".

*Muffin* has other odd habits as well. She makes noises that I've never heard before, and she makes them at the most inopportune moments. She, as well as her stuff, has a strange smell, and sometimes she gets stinky. She doesn't walk, and seems to be lazy because my owners carry her around all the time. She scatters toys where I want to sleep. She eats an unfamiliar white liquid from a strange contraption (Chessie says it's a bottle. Again, where DOES she learn this stuff?)

*Muffin* = A Strange Creature, Indeed.

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