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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
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Valentine's Day Facts

Originally posted on my HSB blog, February 14, 2008

Valentine's Day is often linked with cards, chocolate, and generally showing love to one another. But what is the true meaning?

Valentine's Day comes from a feast celebrated by the Romans. The feast took place on February 14th and honored two men named St. Valentine. It's not certain which one was associated with romance, or how the holiday got that meaning, but they were both Christian martyrs.

There's not much known about either of the two men, but one legend says that Valentine (we don't know which one), a priest, disobeyed the emperor Claudius II's decree that young men were not to be married. Valentine didn't agree with the law, and so performed marriages in secret. Unfortunately, Claudius II found out, and had Valentine thrown in jail. On the night before he was executed, he wrote a note addressed to his "Beloved" and signed it "Your Valentine". We don't know exactly who his "Beloved" was, but it may have been the jailer's daughter, whom he befriended and prayed for.

Another legend says that people wrote notes to Valentine while he was in prison, and hid them between rocks and cracks in the cell walls. He would then read the notes and pray for the people who wrote them.

St. Valentine's note is very likely where the concept for sending Valentine's Day cards to one another came from. Take time this month to pray for those you love or surprise them with some hidden notes or special words of encouragement.

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