note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
Aw, sorry you're feeling poorly. That's never fun. :(
ReplyDeleteHope you get to feeling better soon! (And I'll help you look for Inspiration...he's been hiding from me, too.)
~Keaghan
Inspiration's done a runner on me too - I shall hunt him down, mash him up and bring him to you with icecream. Hope your jaw feels better soon! Or, gets better ... you know what I mean!
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling! When I had my wisdom teeth removed, I could barely talk, could only eat ice cream and milk (it might sound like heaven, and the first day was. But 3 days of just ice cream and chocolate milk? Horrid. I now no longer like ice cream in a bowl). It was so annoying. Every time I wanted to tell some one something, I had to write it down. Or sound like like I had really bad cleft pallet. :-?
ReplyDeleteaww, I hope you're feeling better soon! ♥♥ and I can't wait to hear more from you...I'm sure you'll catch up with that tricky little inspiration eventually. ;]
ReplyDelete