note to self: i’ll be there for you, always
written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
Ah, I'd love to see your avatars! It makes me think that I need to get designing again myself...I've got a couple of pictures that would be fun to use.
ReplyDeleteA Photobucket account, eh? Is that because of the lame Flickr 200 pictures only policy? (I'm still miffed about that one.) ;)
Love ya!
GASP! Can I hear your novel idea? Please? Pretty please with macaroons and gummy bears? Please? I'll love you forever. Okay, I already do, but still!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post :))
-Jocee <3
I recently just wore my converse for the first time since summer started, too! My feet felt so wonderful and at home. :)
ReplyDelete