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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
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Childhood Memories {Day 26}

Okay, so it's day 26... a childhood memory.

*stares at the screen*

People, I'm suffering from writer's block. Blogger's block. This isn't supposed to happen!

Well, one of my favorite childhood memories is going camping in the mountains with my family. Making s'mores, cooking hamburgers. One camping trip in particular, we ended up hanging out with a family that we knew but weren't very close to. We had invited other families, but they had all canceled for one reason or another, and we weren't sure why we had ended up spending time with this one family. It ended up that a few months after our camping trip, they ended up losing their six year old daughter. That was one of the hardest years of my life, especially because we had watched a family lose their 3-month-old baby due to an underdeveloped brain earlier that year. But God pulled me through it, and I am here to say that he never lets go.

I also love (or still love) watching train DVDs with my dad, watching chick-flicks with my mom, swinging in the backyard, playing Barbies with the lil' sis, going outside with my brother, & playing in the sandbox.

Ahhh... I miss those good old days. :)
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  1. iGirlMarch 7, 2011 at 4:54 AM

    Sounds like fun! Not the dying, of course, I'm very sorry to hear about that :(

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  2. LilyMarch 7, 2011 at 6:21 AM

    Camping sounds like fun, and s'mores are DA BOMB!!!!
    Yikes, that sounds like a really tough time. But I'm glad God helped you through it!!

    Love always,
    ~Lily

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