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note to self: i’ll be there for you, always

written june 6, 2021. Photo by Kristine Cinate on Unsplash I have always looked for myself in other people. I think the idea was that they would somehow hold the pieces of me that I felt were missing. That maybe, if I wrapped my identity up in theirs enough, we would somehow make a whole person. It's not healthy to live like this, but I did it anyway — burning through relationships and searching for something I couldn't quite name. It was never enough, not to be myself, but it was never enough to latch my identity to other people, either. I got close, several times — I thought I had reached the pinnacle of self discovery. I thought I had completed myself. But in the end, relying on other people to help build yourself is never a viable way to do things. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with the idea of being enough, as I am, on my own. Several years ago, in this same position, I would have searched for another person to attach my identity onto,...
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1.11.11

Guess what? It's 1/11/11. Days like this make my... day. :P I have a bunch of quirks like that. I wasn't going to post two days in a row, but in honor of today, I'm going to post 11 of my main quirks.

1. One of my main jobs around the house is unloading the dishwasher. We have a lot of colorful cups that I stack when I unload them, and they always, ALWAYS have to be in a pattern, no matter what.

2. I really don't care what my socks look like. I really don't. I will often wear unmatching socks if I can't find a complete pair.

3. I have worn my black and white Converse as dress shoes to special occasions. Twice. With a skirt. Apparently I have weird fashion sense.
(I wore them at a speech performance and our Christmas Eve service.)


4. My brother had told me multiple times that we should start a webshow called "Kylie in the Kitchen." Let me just say it would be a disaster, because...

5. I have blown up eggs in our microwave, broken more than a few dishes, put a mountain of sour cream on my brother's enchilada, and microwaved butter for a good minute too long (subsequently breaking the glass bowl it was in).

6. I name things. My bass guitar is Ben, my guitar is (tentatively) named Grant, my laptop is Lavender Boy, my old mp3 player is Pansy, and my new mp3 player is named Djaq.

7. I have so many nicknames, including but not limited to: Sky, Skylee, Kylila, Scarlett A Dale, Sam, Sammy, Charlie, Will, Kylie Bird, Goose, Ky, Ky-Ky... the list is endless.

8. I have an unexplained fascination with the following: olive green vans, old-style VW bugs, and Seattle.

9. I like chick-lit AND fantasy. Yep. Both. Sometimes at the same time. Aaaand... I just happened to like Camp Rock 2. Yep.

10. I have written stories about the following: Meeting all four of the Narnia actors; traveling on a tour bus with my favorite band; being Robin Hood's sister; and becoming famous. It shouldn't surprise you that...

11. ... one of my favorite sayings is, "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

The end. :D
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  1. J.C. (Chy)January 12, 2011 at 8:15 PM

    Ha, I never noticed that before about the usernames. That is funny :)

    All of your stories look so cool :) "Reese's Pieces" looks like it must be really fun.
    What's it like to cowrite? I've not done that yet, but my Mom and I are planning on cowriting a book soon.

    Sadly, no, I didn't win NaNo 2010. I was on vacation with my cousin, and while I got several thousands of words in while we were on the road, I fell behind while we were in Florida (Disney World). I did make it to 50,000 about 8 days later, so I was still quite pleased. :) NaNo 2010 is "Beneath A Summer Sky", and 2009 is "Under The November Moon". I haven't mentioned a lot about them on here yet though.

    ~ Chy

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  2. emiiJanuary 13, 2011 at 1:43 AM

    Hey Sky,
    Haha, I was playing foosball at someone's house the other day, and I named my teams soccer player dude's:P

    Nickname's are the best. I make them up for everyone:D

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